Jaded's Recap: Six Pack
Three more chairs are going to be filled tonight! That will up our total to six finalists! More exciting, basic math to come below!
Introduction of our judges. They still haven't changed, although tonight Simon is wearing a tight white shirt instead of a tight black shirt. Good to mix things up once in a while.
I have to admit that it seems like there's not as much drama in the air tonight. Justin is just about a mortal lock to move on, but none of the other nine kids really stood out on Tuesday. You could also select the other two winners by having them identify how many gumballs are in a jar. The two closest guesses move on to the finals.
Alexandra has a look of firm resignation on her face. Mentally, she's packed her bags and there's a pretty strong chance she's physically packed her bags as well. Naturally, Tenia is right next to her. I hope a videocamera is rolling the day these two get in a fight and decide not to be friends. Expect a lot of hair pulling and scratching that day.
Alexis seems pretty jittery tonight. She also seems awfully proud of her chest. If she was showing it off anymore, it would have neon lights. I'm not complaining, just observing.
Jamar looks like a husband waiting for his wife to finish up an eternal conversation so he can leave. I wouldn't be surprised if got up and said he was "going to go warm up the car" in the middle of the show.
So let's get to it. First chair...Justin. He should've just been sitting there when the show started. Here's a tangent, by the way. Is Seacrest ever going to shave again? I mean, he is on national TV. We can't find this guy a disposable? And this is Dunk's third hairstyle in as many shows. They're good guys, though, so it's no big deal.
So here's where it gets interesting. The second chair could go to anybody right now outside of Alexandra. The way she's been tortured on the message boards the past two weeks, I couldn't see her winning Student Council Treasurer at this point. The judges seem to think it'll be Angela, and it is...Kelly!
Wow. Mild shocker that makes sense. As stated in this space before, she looks more like a suds slingers in a sports bar than a pop princess. But she handled "Respect" without any problems and looked good doing so. Kelly seems genuinely surprised and happy to be in the second chair. Good for her. I like nice people.
And now, the third chair. But first! A regularly recurring character! Tamika! Tamika's comments are a bit more forced this week. She makes fun of Tenia's prom dress and gets squishy over Justin. Man, does anybody not like this guy? He should start his own religion. Or line of clothing. Something.
As a retort, Tenia tells Tamika to get some relaxer because her hair is out of control. I suppose a girl with naturally long, flowing hair with blonde highlights like Tenia can throw stones. I'd really hate to see Alexandra and Tenia with a couple of daiquiris in them. It's gotta be a bad scene.
The tension is palpable as Ryan and Brian ask the judges for their predictions on the third finalist from this group. Then Ryan tells Randy to hurry the dang up, we're running out of show here. Randy and Paula pick Alexis, Simon hems and haws, then goes with the flow and picks Alexis too.
The final card is held aloft. Alexis gets nervous and buries her face in her lap. I get a dirty thought out of that. Another contestant hugs Alexis to help her. Jamar heads out to warm up the car. And...
A.J. moves on! Two weeks in a row a guy awkwardly warbles through a song, gets excoriated by Simon and moves onto the finals. This may a good strategy. Don't be surprised if next week all ten kids intentionally blow their songs so they can get bashed by Simon and voted on to the next round.
So there you have it. Hopefully sometime this week
Seacrest and A.J. will go halfsies on a razor and clean
up a bit. Six finalists down, four to go. And I have
absolutely no idea what the hell is going on anymore.
All Season 1 Recaps
- No way Jim moves on after that performance. Right, Simon? Simon?
- Dewey Defeats Truman!
- Army of the Mediocre
- Six Pack
- The Bad, The Even Worse and The Ugly
- Judge Fight!
- The Live Album!
- The Unkindest Cuts
- Pride Goeth Before The 'Fro
- Clash of the Titanic Egos
- The Big Time!
- Jump, Jive and Fail!
- Five Alive! (And an assortment of other bad puns)
- RJ is Short for "Really Gone"
- Two for Each One
- What? Who? You're sure now?
- Three Do Two
- Two More
- EL FINALE!
- If You Want to be a Big Star Like Me, Do What I Say
- Vegas Show - Spectacle! (Part 1)
- Vegas Show - Spectacle! (Part 2)
- FINAL WRAP UP