Jaded's Recap: You! Over here! With the rest of the finalists!
Okay, so first off, let's confirm that the somewhat dim Will Sparks is not your new official Wednesday recapper. I told you that was a one-time thing, and if I'm anything, I'm a man of my word. Except when I'm lying, and then look the heck out. So what's going to happen tonight? Quite simply, three people will be put aside in the special chairs, two of them will move on and my cousin Will will applaud everyone's courage in the face of what he considers to be tremendous adversity, but the rest of us consider to be a free vacation in SoCal.
Anyway, it's time for the show and Dramatic Dan's 10 seconds of work this week. Hey! What's this? It's the control room! It's like I'm watching a football game all of a sudden. Well, thanks for that exclusive look at TV monitors and a bald spot. Now let's circle Seacrest with a digital pen. "See that? He went right! Wow!"
Speaking of Seacrest, he starts the show off by pointing out that whoever moves on tonight will have great success. Then he cracks on Simon, flirts with Paula and makes fun of Randy's leg. A dynamic start.
Finally, Ryan turns his attention to the kids and the audience rewards them with the proper amount of whoooos. And hey, wasn't La Toya great last night? So are they telling us the group is fighting for only one spot? That La Toya has one cinched up? I guess we'll find out, won't we?
Judges, please share your feelings with us during this special moment. Well, the entire panel thinks La Toya and Leah will be moving on. So let's just end this now and fill out the rest of the time slot with an old Oliver Beene. The good one where the dad screams about something.
We're back! And now.the almost results. La Toya, last night everybody loved you. A lot. A whole lot. You ARE one of the top three. Well that was anticlimactic. Jonah, last night everybody went "Eh." You ARE NOT one of the top three. (CAPS! They're the new hip thing!) Charly, also "Eh." You ARE NOT one of the top three. Eric Yoder, you have nice teeth. But that wasn't enough for the judges. You ARE NOT one of the top three. Elizabeth, the judges liked you. You ARE NOT one of the top three. Boy, she took a real deep gasp there, didn't she? I thought she was about to fall off her perch. Amy Adams, you have pink hair. And a spot in the top three! Hawoo! So. Leah. Jon Peter. The judges all predicted one of you would move on this week. They didn't say much about the other one at all. Any guesses which way this one is leaning? That's right, it's leaning Leah.
We're back! Again. Leah or Jon? Jon or Leah? Come on, why are you delaying? We all know it's.Jon? Peter? Lewis? Wow. Even he looked shocked by that one. And Leah, well, she looked shocked too, but in the bad way. Now the real results! With 32% of the vote, La Toya is in the finals. Math me up, baby! And now she will sing. And she does. And now it is over. So who's in next? Well, of course you have to wait through another break for that one. Can Jon Peter Lewis keep his upset streak alive? Can Amy keep the pink-haired girls in the finals streak alive?
And the second winner, finalist really, is.Amy Adams! And now she will sing. And she does. And now it is over. And so is the show.
All Season 3 Recaps
- What I Did On My Summer Vacation Or, How To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb
- In the beginning.we ran out of titles
- First show, first recap. (This will be the order all season long.)
- The Journey Continues! (For now.)
- Night Three! (Snappy titles are overrated, anyway)
- Finally! A show about California!
- Mokolokilikilanilaki! It's Hawai'i!
- The road is to Hollywood! (Is paved with broken dreams. And asphalt.)
- You're going to Hollywood! (For a little bit, at least.)
- 87 - people not good enough = 32 finalists!
- Two will be happy. Six will be sad. Lots will be watching.
- Sing Again!
- Jaded's Cousin Weighs In
- I'm Back, Baby!
- You! Over here! With the rest of the finalists!
- Who's not so good?
- Group four! Then the Wild Card!
- Finally! Finalists!
- Wild Cards! Wild! Cards! Wild!
- Wild Card Results
- XII - I = XI (Hope you like this title formula, because you'll be seeing it at least X more times.)
- XI - I = X (I was serious when I said I was using this title the rest of the way)
- X - I = IX (Now THAT'S confusing!)
- IX - I = VIII
- VIII - I = VII
- VII - I = VI
- VI - I = V
- A Special Recap For A Special Show's Special!
- V (Only III more weeks of this dumb title!)
- V - I = IV (Only III more weeks of this dumb title!)
- IV - I = III
- Special #2!
- III (The one with Clubber Lang!)
- III - I = Almost done!
- II (This is it! For Tuesdays. For now.)
- II - I = We're done, baby
- Hey, pals!