Jaded's Recap: Week 16 - Wednesday

One more person will be cut tonight, leaving us with a gang of four. Not Gang of Four, a gang of four. And I. Am. Tired. Chunks are starting to fall off of me, like that marathon runner in that one commercial. If I fall, I might shatter into a thousand pieces, plus incalculable dust molecules. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Maybe Seacrest can cheer me up! He's an enthusiastic guy. Or maybe some shocking turn of events can send a jolt of energy through me. Of course, I'll have to wait 29 minutes for that. So...um...I guess, well, we'll just see what happens.

Wednesday night rolls around again. Indeed. And thank you for reminding us all of the day-to-day drudgery of our lives as we tick off our remaining seconds. Hey, it looks like we're getting back to dark suit Tuesdays / light suit Wednesdays. You know how looking at a crisp summer suit can cheer up whoever gets cut.

Sunglasses indoors! Bo Bice is so, so, so, so Hollywood. I love it! In about two more weeks, he'll be dating Bijou Phillips. After a summary of last night, it's time for a group performance. Michael W. Smith, who I thought was a political pundit, took this next song onto the AC charts. Meaning Adult Contemporary, for all you non-radio insiders out there. Is Bo Bice wearing a denim blazer? Could anything be more appropriate than Bo Bice wearing a denim suit to his wedding? I doubt it.

Hey! There's a dog! Anyway, we're back and it's time for some results. No separating into groups tonight. Just pure results! Anthony, you can go sit on the couch. Oh. So...I guess they will be separated after all. Vonzell, you stay put. Whether that's good or bad, who can say. Well, Seacrest eventually, but for now, nobody! Scott, you sit down. Bo Bice, stay put. Carrie, you stay put too. Ryan announces that this group is the cool group and the crowd goes insane. I guess...uh...they don't like Anthony or Scott so much.

Now Anthony and Scott are each going to perform a number. Judging by the voting results this week, I think you could say not a lot of people will enjoy this. Scott is going to sing "Every Time You Go Away," which I'm guessing he's dedicating to Anthony. And then Anthony will probably counter with "I Hope Scott Is The One You Voted Off" by The Chandelles.

Anthony. Ryan. Scott. That's your TV screen from left to right. Well, it's a bunch of commercials. Hey, there's another Adam Sandler movie! Been a while. Almost a year. And we're back! Anthony...I'm going to draw this out as long as possible...make you think you're going home...maybe even get you to start walking off...and have Scott start waving in triumph...because that's the kind of thing I'm into...boy, this has gone way past comfortable, hasn't it...well, anyway, you're safe. So long, Scott!

In his farewell package, Scott says that Idol has "been one of the best experiences of my life." Um, I don't mean to assume, but what else could be on that list? Is Idol competing with something? Like the time he got two Zagnut bars out of the vending machine even though he only paid for one? Anyway, the end.